


The Best Place For Sneaky Sex Is The Broom Closet

by apollothyme



Category: Marvel
Genre: Closet Sex, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-11-20
Updated: 2011-11-20
Packaged: 2017-10-26 07:57:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/280642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apollothyme/pseuds/apollothyme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Avengers work in the SHIELD facilities. And by work what's really meant is: under Fury’s orders they all stay cooped up inside the damn building for six hours everyday until they have to go out, fight some crime, and then come back for congratulatory pizza.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Best Place For Sneaky Sex Is The Broom Closet

**Author's Note:**

> Do you know what always cheers me up? Writing PWP Steve/Tony smut, so here it is! Barely graphic and completely inspired by the [memos from nick fury](http://memosfromfury.tumblr.com/).
> 
> Also I'm pretty sure there's like, one paragraph in here where I use four different tenses. Basically this is kind of rubbish, but I have a chemistry test tomorrow and I haven't studied a single thing and I'm sick so I really don't care.

The Avengers work in the SHIELD facilities. And by work what's really meant is: under Fury’s orders they all stay cooped up inside the damn building for six hours everyday until they have to go out, fight some crime, and then come back for congratulatory pizza.

Natasha and Clint seem to be completely adjusted to staying inside a secret government facility, though it’s hard to not notice how Natasha sometimes seems to disappear for hours, and since Tony has access to all the security systems (he’d been the one designing their tech earlier in the game and had left a couple of holes in their walls for future use) he - and the others since Tony can’t actually resist sharing gossip whenever he has the chance to - also knows that when Natasha disappears she is literally gone from the building, which can only mean she has some kind of secret door out that she isn’t sharing. Clint just spends most of his time going around pretending to be Batman, scaring new interns and flirting with Bruce, who spends all of his time working in his tiny lab under SHIELD’s heavy surveillance. 

Thor eats pop-tarts and watches all the TV he can. Seriously, that’s the only thing he does, he says television is a great way to know more about Midgard and nobody has the heart to tell him Doctor Who and Star Trek aren’t real.

As for Steve well, he’s a soldier, he’s used to following orders from superiors but the guy went through World War II and you can see he isn’t very comfortable staying inside all day when there’s still so much to fight for. It goes without saying that Tony hates staying it there, that he wishes Pepper would just do something to get him out instead of faxing him papers for him to sign, and that since the moment he joined the Avengers he’s been trying to break Fury’s iron command over all of them.

Nevertheless not even Tony can find away out of the building, not with security guards with machine guns on every door, and Tony could easily take them all out, _yes_ , but he’d also have to injure them and that’s not a viable option.

Since somehow sneaking out to the theatres with Captain America, or maybe just go to the park and hang out instead of staying inside all day watching television with Thor in the ridiculously small living room area isn't possible, Tony constructs a new plan to distract him and Steve.

Because he did it all for Steve really, Tony wouldn’t mind creating some kind of super illegal way of escaping Fury, wouldn’t be the first time, but then he would leave Steve all by himself and Tony just couldn’t do that. Because leaving Captain America behind was like betraying America and calling the Statue of Liberty an ass while screaming 'freedom sucks'. Tony had heard countless stories from his dad about Captain America, and how he was - and still is - the greatest hero of all times, so abandoning the guy like that simply wasn't an option. Also Steve... well he was actually a pretty nice. It took him a while to get comfortable around Tony but once he finally did they were as close as a dog and his tennis ball.

Tony has a bunch of ideas on how to distract himself and Steve for six hours in a top secret facility, most of them include extreme cooking and small explosions just to piss off Fury and though Steve isn’t very adamant on any of them in the beginning, he quickly joins Tony and the others in their shenanigans. Because really, who could resist photoshopping Fury’s face into a kittens body and them leave three thousands pamphlets around SHIELD with the message ‘lost pet, can be a little bit grouchy, if found please return him to his mother, Agent Coulson’. 

Unfortunately soon enough Fury, or as Clint has started to call him, Major Kitten Killjoy, introduces the Fury Memos, which are basically a big, fancy list of shit the Avengers can’t do.

Of course this means nothing because Tony is fully able to create brand new ideas everyday, but then on one Thursday afternoon when they’re all playing water polo in the flooded kitchen (it was an accident, really, it was, Tony had absolutely no idea there was a big water pipe underneath the sink) and Steve is standing awfully close to Tony, shirtless and smiling so much, looking quite simply fucking gorgeous, Tony gets a new idea that easily puts all of his others in the corner of shame. _He’s going to have sex with Captain America._

Initially Tony thought his plan would be really hard to put into motion. First he’d have to tell Steve gay relationships are okay, then he’d have to tell Steve he was bisexual, then he would have to make Steve question his own sexuality, then he’d have to explain to him that workmates having sex was a common thing these days and that Bruce and Clint were totally doing it, so if those two could have sex in the lab so could they, and then finally he’d discreetly seduce Steve until the other man wanted him with a burning passion and Tony, being the nice fellow he is, would say yes.

All of this didn’t happen since Steve had actually been the one asking Tony on a date, which Tony had accepted and where they both spent some lovely hours together in a cosy Italian restaurant just talking, and then Steve had been the one asking Tony if he’d like to be his boyfriend. And even though all Tony had been thinking about for the past couple of days was having sex with Captain America he never actually thought of what they were going to be if they did it.

Sex buddies? Boyfriends? People who fuck and never talk to each other again because of the awkwardness?

The last idea was rubbish because Tony didn’t want, and he couldn’t really, not talk to Steve again. The first idea sounded reasonable to Tony, but it wasn’t really what he wanted and for what it looked like, it wasn’t what Steve wanted either. The only option left was being boyfriends, which actually didn’t sound that bad. It was going to take some work, oh _yes_ a relationship between the ex-drug addict Anthony Stark and the WWII soldier Steve Rogers was definitely going to take some work. But they would make things fit together, probably, and if not the option of awkwardly never talking to each other again was still on the table.

In the beginning they didn’t let anyone know about their relationship, but they really didn’t need to as soon as Tony introduced Steve to sex in the work place (which was the day after their date because they were superheroes and if being a superhero doesn’t allow you to have sex on the day after the first date nothing ever will) and they started doing it. A lot. Anywhere they could. Seriously.

In the living room, in the kitchen, by the pool, in the locker rooms, in Fury’s office, in Coulson’s office, on the roof, in the garage, in the lab, etc. In the midst of all the fucking, playing some shenanigans and fighting crime Fury introduced a memo that said sex in the workplace was prohibited. This just meant that Steve and Tony had to be extra sneaky because really, if Fury thought Tony was going to stop Steve from fucking him boneless whenever they wanted to he was very, very wrong.

The best place to have sneaky sex was the broom closet, which was also completely cliché but really, nobody ever goes on the broom closet except for the janitor (who Tony had given fifty bucks and instructed that he should take the day off) and the shelves were great to hold on to when somebody is giving you a blowjob.

This was, surprisingly, exactly what Tony was doing at the moment to Steve, and if the sounds Steve was making in the back of his throat were anything to go by he was doing it really well. Tony liked giving blowjobs, he liked carefully licking from the tip to the shaft of Steve’s dick, he enjoyed lightly teasing his balls and he certainly enjoyed the way one of Steve’s hands was always in his hair, tugging Tony restlessly before he came and Tony unwillingly allowed himself to be pulled away, mostly because he knew what was coming next.

Steve with glazed eyes looking at him with an hunger that made Tony’s already hard to dick somehow get harder inside his trousers, Steve pushing Tony against the nearest vacant wall and taking off Tony’s pants in less than two seconds (god bless the super serum) so they could finally do it. The lube was hidden in one of the shelves, it was just more practical for them to keep it there instead of walking around with it, because Clint could always just randomly decide to shoot their pockets and then have their contents fall into the floor, right in front of Fury. Not that seeing Fury get pissed off because his favourite soldier was walking around with chocolate lube wasn’t a funny thing; it just started to look a bit bad after the fourth time it happened.

It doesn’t take long for Steve to properly open Tony, your body sort of adjusts to having a large dick enter it after doing it almost everyday, in fact they could probably just put some extra lube on the condom and go at it but Steve was too much of a caring boyfriend to just fuck Tony like that, which was kind of funny because the moment they actually started fucking he usually lost all care and just pumped into Tony viciously, not giving a damn if his hands were leaving imprints on Tony’s hips or if Tony’s back was constantly scratching against the wall and his head was knocking against the nearest shelve, which was good because Tony really didn’t care either as long as Steve kept doing it at their current angle. 

“Fuck Steve, just keep going _fuck_.” Coherency during sex was never one of Tony’s strong points.

Steve only grunted in response and Tony really had to teach him some dirty talk one of these days, not that it mattered much since Tony could barely hear or see a thing when his legs were spread open like that and Steve was the one holding him in place against the wall. He didn’t have any leverage, and even though his arms were holding on the shelves like usual Tony was barely even putting any strength in them, he was being completely controlled by Steve and damn everything if that didn’t feel amazing. The only thing Tony could focus his mind on was not coming before Steve because Steve coming inside of him was always the best part.

He was hanging on by a thread, his dick aching between them but then Steve finally, _finally_ came inside of him and all he had to do was to touch Tony’s dick, not even move his hand or grip it, just touch it and Tony was coming too.

They cleaned up as quickly as they could and tried to make themselves a bit more presentable (they failed, Tony’s shirt was all rumpled and his hair looked like a sexed up mess). It wasn’t until later when a new memo arrived that Tony reconsidered their choice of using the broom closet as their sex haven.

From the Desk of Director Nick Fury:

Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division

Washington, D.C

To Whom it May Concern:

Sex inside the broom closets is from now on strictly prohibited. Anyone caught having sex there, while in the room next to it there’s a meeting with the President of The United Motherfucking States of America is going to be severely punished.

PS: I’m looking at you Stark.

_ Nick Fury _


End file.
